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The Responsibility of Mothers

The Family: A Proclamation to the World clearly and simply states the responsibility of mothers: "By divine design. . . mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children" (¶ 7). President Boyd K. Packer (1993) has further said: "The woman, by her very nature, is. . . the primary nurturer of the children. Virtues and attributes upon which perfection and exaltation depend come naturally to a woman and are refined through marriage and motherhood" (¶ 19).

Mothers are blessed as they diligently teach and nurture their children. They learn about the plan of salvation and their potential future as eternal mothers. In 1942 the First Presidency declared, "Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels" (as quoted in Packer, 1993, ¶ 41).

This sacred work of mothers is crucial because of its powerful influence in children’s lives. Brigham Young University scholars explain mothering this way:

Motherhood is a . . . sacred dedication for carrying out the Lord’s plans, a consecration of devotion to the uprearing and fostering, the nurturing in body, mind, and sprit, of those who kept their first estate and who come to this earth for the second estate "to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them" (Abraham 3:25). To lead them to keep their second estate is the work of motherhood, and they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads forever and ever. (Hawkins et al., 2000, p. 70)

The Presence of Mothers

Mothering is highly complex and becomes more so as the world continues to change rapidly. Children are increasingly faced with difficult situations that are more complicated than their young minds can comprehend. More than ever, they need sensible advice from caring mothers and fathers who offer it in a way that doesn’t impose upon their agency but helps them develop their own decision-making skills.

With these difficult times comes an increasing need for mothers to be home with their children, not only in spirit but also in person. When children return from school, work, and social outings they are overflowing with new information and new experiences. Mothers, often the first person a child encounters when arriving home, need to be prepared to listen, support, and teach. By studying their children’s dispositions and responding accordingly, being aware of their challenges, counseling with their husbands, fasting and praying, and then relying on the guidance and inspiration they receive from the Holy Ghost, they can be a great blessing to their children.

Church leaders understand the important role of mothers and have always encouraged mothers to be home whenever possible. H. Burke Peterson, while serving as first counselor in the Presiding Bishopric (1974), said:

Our Father in heaven wants you to be in your home to guide these spirits as no one else can, in spite of material sacrifices that may result. He created you to learn to be a good mother—an eternal mother. It is your first and foremost calling. No baby-sitter, no grandmother, no neighbor, no friend, no Relief Society sister, older brother or sister, or even a loving dad can take your place. (¶ 19)

He continued:

Brothers and sisters, do without if you need to, but don’t do without mother. . . . Satan would have us believe that money or the things money can buy are more important in the home than mother. . . . Far better for a boy or girl to go to school in last year’s shirts or hand-me-down[s]. . . that are clean even though not in the height of fashion and come home to find mother there, than for a boy or girl to go to school in finer and newer clothes and come home to a new TV or a baby-sitter because Mother is away working. (¶ 6, 8, 19)

Ideally, every mother would be home nurturing and rearing her children and most would cherish that opportunity. Many mothers, though, must enter the workforce to help provide the necessities of life. President Hinckley (1996) comments:

I recognize. . . that there are some women (it has become very many in fact) who have to work to provide for the needs of their families. To you I say, do the very best you can. I hope that if you are employed full-time you are doing it to ensure that basic needs are met and not simply to indulge in taste for an elaborate home, fancy cars, and other luxuries. The greatest job that any mother will ever do will be in nurturing, teaching, lifting, encouraging, and rearing her children in righteousness and truth. None other can adequately take her place. (¶ 32)

Blessings to Mothers

As mothers sacrifice daily for their children, they can find peace in knowing that their choices are endorsed by the Lord. That doesn’t mean motherhood will ever be easy – it is always challenging and often overwhelming. It takes great faith for mothers to continue nurturing when they feel besieged. But as mothers turn to the Lord and to their extended family and friends for help, the Lord will provide "a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them" (see 1 Nephi 3:7).

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (1997) offers these comforting words:

Mothers, we acknowledge and esteem your faith in every footstep. Please know that it is worth it then, now, and forever. . . .Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are and better than you have ever been as you try to make honest effort, however feeble you may sometimes feel that to be. (¶ 20)

President Hinckley (1996) comments, "As the years pass, you will become increasingly grateful for that which you did in molding the lives of your children in the direction of righteousness and goodness, integrity and faith" (¶ 34).

And in all of this, Elder Holland (1997) implores:

Remember, remember, all the days of your motherhood. . . [to] rely on Him. Rely on Him heavily. Rely on Him forever. . . . He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging. . . . Christ will say to the women who worry and wonder and sometimes weep over their responsibility as mothers, "Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole" (Matthew 9:22). And it will make your children whole as well. (¶ 21-22)

Additional Reading

A Parent’s Guide

Guidebook for Parents and Leaders of Youth

Written by Jennifer Crockett, Research Assistant, edited by Stephen F. Duncan, Professor, School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

References

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (1995, November). The family: A proclamation to the world. Ensign, 102. Retrieved July 23, 2003, from http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,161-1-11-1,FF.html

Hawkins, A. J., Spangler, D. L., Hudson, V., Dollahite, D. C., Klein, S. R., Rugh, et al. (2000). Equal partnership and the sacred responsibilities of mothers and fathers. In D. C. Dollahite (Ed.), Strengthening our families: An in-depth look at the proclamation on the family (pp. 63-82). Salt Lake City, UT: Bookcraft.

Hinckley, G. B. (1996, November). Women of the church. Ensign, 67-69. Retrieved July 23, 2003, from http://library.lds.org/nxt/gateway.dll/Magazines/Ensign/1996.htm/ensign%20november%201996.htm/women%20of%20the%20church.htm?fn=document-frameset.htm$f=templates$3.0

Holland, J. R. (1997, May). Because she is a mother. Ensign, 35-37. Retrieved July 23, 2003, from http://library.lds.org/nxt/gateway.dll/Magazines/Ensign/1997.htm/ensign%20may%201997.htm/because%20she%20is%20a%20mother.htm?fn=document-frameset.htm$f=templates$3.0

Packer, B. K. (1993, November). For time and all eternity. Ensign, 21-23. Retrieved July 23, 2003, from http://library.lds.org/nxt/gateway.dll/Magazines/Ensign/1993.htm/ensign%20november%201993.htm/for%20time%20and%20all%20eternity.htm?fn=document-frameset.htm$f=templates$3.0

Peterson, H. B. (1974, May). Mother, catch the vision of your call. Ensign, 31-32. Retrieved July 23, 2003, from http://library.lds.org/nxt/gateway.dll/Magazines/Ensign/1974.htm/ensign%20may%201974.htm/mother%20catch%20the%20vision%20of%20your%20call%20.htm?fn=document-frameset.htm$f=templates$3.0